Gonzo Comic: Composter Complications

Gonzo Parenting

I rarely have stomach issues. I’m one of those lucky types that can eat anything without issue. Last night, my stomach was a wreck and I didn’t get much sleep.

This morning during breakfast, I hear Alice sternly direct Calvin to “go apologize to Daddy” in a tone I rarely hear from her.

Calvin can’t look me in the eye and he says “I’m really sorry Daddy.” I inquire why and he explains that he just took meat out of the composter. While he’s saying this, Alice is heard yelling at Daphne in the background to the tone of “do you realize how sick he could have gotten?”

I walk in the kitchen and say “listen, let’s all take a deep breath. This isn’t that big a deal. I think they get it now. Don’t touch food in the composter.”

Alice Liddell Rooke cocks her head and I watch her eyes refocus as she begins to grin:

“Remember when the kids “made daddy dinner” last night?”

“Uh…yeah.”

“Calvin just told me that the meat they gave you was from the composter.”

Suddenly everything made sense. It was like the matrix collapsing. I just walked out of the kitchen.

I really wonder what I did in prior lives that brought me to this.

If anyone needs me, I’ll likely be in the bathroom.